NOVEMBER 18, 2009.
Early in the morning.
You can't buy it or sell it. You can't see it or hear it or touch it. To have it you have to give it away. Everybody needs it. It's just about the best thing in the whole world. What is it? Friendship!

It's a long word but it isn't nearly long enough to explain all the things that friendship is. Once you have a friend, you start to find out just how many good things are rolled into that one word.

Friendship is a happy thing. Everybody's always looking for hapiness. Well, friends find it every time they get together -regardless of the weather.

It's like finding the pot of gold at the BEGINNING of the rainbow.

Dean Walley - Friendship is a very special thing.

I miss my friends.
Being away is the best way to find out who really is your friend and who is faking, who really cares about you and who doesn't. It's hard to believe that most of your so-called friends don't have time to give news or even to ask how you are doing miles away from what you were used to. I know that -sometimes- I am not one of the best friend you can expect to have. I know that -often- I let myself get carried away by life. And I know that those days (months) are part of this time. I am miles away, running away from each of you and from what my life used to be, trying to find myself on a different road. I had to. But I will be back. And I hope you will be back too. What I mean is, I think I understood something important about friendship: I might be miles away, you might not be talking to me (and I might not be talking to you neither) but you are still my friends and I think of you everyday even if I don't make it obvious. Friendship is not only about giving news to each other every single day. Friendship is to be here, whenever you need it, whatever you will go through in life. And I -do really- hope that at the end of this experience, I'm gonna find you again.
NOVEMBER 14, 2009.
Early in the morning.
Blank. I feel like empty. 
My thoughts are full. I'd like to put them down. But nothing comes. It seems as if I am only able to write when I am -or feel at least- unhappy. I am not sure it means that I am happy -even if I do really feel happy like every single day here- because I know that I could be happier if such or such thing -mmh yeah yeah- was different. Weird. Maybe my mind just figured out how to ignore what is happening miles away from me. But if so, I am wondering what's going to happen when I will be back over there...

Am I only supposed to feel something?
NOVEMBER 11, 2009.
Early in the morning.
He grabbed my hand. We ran outside, and sat in front of the builder's yard. He wanted to watch the bulldozer in action. We remained still for the next twenty minutes, looking at life going on under our noses. It was like going to a movie, but cheaper. His innocence put a smile on my face.
Sometimes, I wish life could wait for me to grow up. My innocence was to believe -well, more hope than believe- that nothing would have changed for the next months. But too many things have already changed. And I bet I'm not done dealing with change.

I'm having trouble sleeping. You’re jumping in my bed. Twisting in my head. 
NOVEMBER 08, 2009.
Early in the morning.
I am tired. Exausted.
When comes the night, all my thoughts -the ones hushed up in the day- are clashing. At the heart, I am not one of those persons who can easily fall asleep. Always a lot of things going on in my head. And at night, my thoughts seem to explode, thinking of all what happened in the past months or even in the past year, all what could happen and stuff like that. It sometimes ends with a big headache. Like for those past couple of days.
Tonight, I wish to be miles away, laying down in your bed, my head resting on your chest. And nothing else.

Hope is a tired word. But I won't stop it.
NOVEMBER 06, 2009.
Early in the morning.
Most of the time, everything is fine because you put away what seems to be wrong. You focuse on what is happening right now in your life. You dismiss the bad possibilities, the bad events, the bad feelings. You try as hard as possible to be confident. And sometimes, you just need one single thing for your world to fall apart. One reminder of the past. One single event to come back from the grave. I am a happy person.
Nothing bad directly happened to me. But if I close my eyes, I see her big bright eyes. And I feel their grief. I am a happy person. But what is happening to her is not right. What is happening to them is unfair. I am a happy person, but I feel sad inside. Because I love her. Because she is my little princess. Because I don't want her to die. And I know that it might happen.